The Stormwind Guard Patrol Logs

--by Captain Dugald Taggart-Gallina

Streaker Edit




A naked female elf was found running around the canal streets. She apparently did not speak common. We had to find the assistance of an elf civilian to communicate with the streaker, but then the streaker stopped talking. After several attempts at covering her with my towel, she finally put on a robe.

Shootout at The Jester Edit



Kenny surrounded by guards inside The Jester


Guards take cover as Kenny escapes using a mole machine.

While on patrol, Pvt. Varistin came running to inform us that a Death Knight was trying to attack Magistrate Sirithil Nightstone at the Laughing Jester. We ran to the location and encountered the Death Knight known as Kenny threatening the Magistrate. We immediately proceeded to attempt to neutralize the threat. I tossed five stun grenades, and the K9 unit was sent after the death knight. Kenny mind controlled Pvt. Varistin momentarily, and managed to resist the stun grenades. Kenny ran inside the Jester, and the K9, Reserve Constable Vietnow, Det. DuLoc, and I gave chase.

Once inside The Jester, I ordered the guards to open fire. Kenny was hit multiple times by musket ball and spells, but his heavy armor managed to keep him alive. Kenny shot at our position, and I ordered the guards to take cover. Two civilians attacked Kenny, forcing me to order the guards to cease fire for fear of hitting the civilians.

Kenny used some sort of remote control to summon a mole machine like the ones used by the Black Iron Dwarves to travel under ground. The mole machine broke through the floor of The Jester, and Kenny quickly went inside of it and made his escape to an unknown location, leaving behind a gaping hole. The cellar and many of the kegs were destroyed by the machine.

I have put in commendations for the guards involved to recognize their bravery under fire.

Canal Monster Found Dead by The Jester Edit



Alarmed, and perhaps inhebriated, citizens reported a canal monster attack. Witnessed claimed the monster surged out of the canal and began chasing a small furry creature resembling a rabbit with antlers and wings. The monster chased the rabbit, which some insisted in calling a "wolpertinger", through the park district and up to the door of The Jester. It is claimed that the monster swallowed the wolpertinger and promptly choked to death.

After poking the monster several times with the Gnomish Vital Signs Detecting Stick, I determined the Monster to be a goner. Inspection of its huge maw revealed no rabbit or any other small furry creature. The contents of the monster's stomach did contain several undigested Paeduses, which were likely thrown in the canal.

After reminding citizens that there are no such things as wolpertingers or canal monsters, I placed two drunken citizens into the drunk tank.

Execution of a Search Warrant at The Jester Edit


Magistrate Nightstone issued a search warrant for the premises of The Jester. Detective DuLoc had reason to believe that several crates marked with the symbol of the Gray Tiger Shipping Company contained smuggled goods and contraband. Upon our arrival to the Jester, we discovered that said crates were no longer at the premises. The crates were likely moved during the time it took to obtain the search warrant.

A thorough search was made. We found receipts for various bar and kitchen goods, mostly from Gray Tiger Shipping, and the rest from various suppliers. A troll female was discovered to be sleeping in the cellar. This troll female (Jasrael) appeared to be friendly and we were unable to determine if she was staff of the Jester.

Our search revealed that one of the large kegs was hollow. Upon opening the large keg, we encountered a smaller keg covered in dark iron chains and padlocks, weighed down by two massive anvils, and protected by magical locks and sigils.

We have requested the aid of a local engineer, Neia Gammashield, in opening the smaller keg.


Detective DuLoc and Capt. Taggart-Gallina search The Jester


Barnabus and Dugald look at the large hollow keg and its contents.

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