Stamp atop Growlflap, hovering above Shattrath.
Stamp Go! Stamp Hit!:
Beyond the Dark Portal
- --by Stamp
These stories take place after the New Adventures of Stamp...
No. 1 (Shiny)
Stamp ride Growlflap through sky from shrieky-shouty gobble town of Area 52 to floaty belf sky island Tempest Keep. Stamp meet Stamp clan friends Grushnak, Krangloth, Meotropicus, and Ilemnemis. Stamp clan friends want Stamp to take hits in clanky-foompy Mechanar. Stamp like to hit and hit and hit! But Stamp clan friends need Stamp to take hits, so Stamp take hits. Stamp take out thumpy hammer and take-hitter shield. Grushnak laugh at Stamp thumpy hammer. Stamp grunt. Stamp not got best hit-and-hit for take-hitting.
Stamp take hit and hit and hit from clanky-zappy mech thingies. Stamp take hit and hit and hit from yelpy-floofy belfs. Stamp take hit and hit and hit and hit from roary-burny demon thingies. Stamp take hit and hit and hit from klunky-poundy mech thingies.
Stamp think Stamp do okay! Stamp clan friends do okay too.
Stamp find shiny new cut and cut. Grushnak not laugh at new cut and cut. Grushnak tell Stamp new cut and cut good for take hits. Stamp also find new flappy-flappy cloak and hit-and-hit trinket!
Stamp not grumpy.
Stamp fly Growlflap to Shattrath City. Stamp go through swirly-whooshy portal to not-deader Undercity in Eastern Kingdoms. Stamp buy and buy and buy stuff for not-deader warlock clan friend Novina to put shiny on big Stamp hit-and-hit hammer. Stamp go back to Shattrath. Stamp find not-deader warlock Novina outside Aldor bank. Not-deader warlock Novina got floaty-floofy pink and red petals falling around. Stamp think this strange. Stamp look through Stamp bag. Stamp find Stamp rabbit Pad. Stamp not give Pad to not-deader warlock Novina. Stamp look for small bag inside big bag. Stamp find bag. Stamp clan friend raspy blue troll mage Shakina come. Raspy blue troll mage Shakina make pink and red petals fall around Stamp. Pink and red petals make Stamp sneeze and sneeze and sneeze! Stamp a little grumpy. Not-deader warlock Novina chase raspy blue troll mage Shakina away. Raspy blue troll mage Shakina keep coming back. Raspy blue troll mage Shakina poke finger in Stamp ear. Stamp grumpier! Raspy blue troll mage Shakina giggle and wander off. Not-deader warlock Novina tell Stamp turn around. Stamp turn around. Stamp clan friend Krangloth show up and say hi. Stamp not turn around, but Stamp say hi to Stamp friend Krangloth. Not-deader warlock Novina take Stamp stuff and put shiny on big Stamp hit-and-hit hammer.
Raspy blue troll mage Shakina show up again. Stamp run while Stamp can. Stamp jump on Growlflap. Stamp fly and fly and fly over Shattrath City.
Stamp hear Rote been in Blade's Edge Mountains. Stamp gotta go see.
No. 2 (Word From Home)
Stamp sit on bench in Horde village in Blade's Edge Mountains. Growlflap grunt and growl. Growlflap not like stupid lash tying Growlflap to post, but Stamp not want Growlflap flying away without Stamp.
Stamp watch dust swirl before Stamp look down at crumpled letter from shrieky-shouty gobble letter-bringer. Letter tell Stamp that Stamp clan friend Kormok not leader in clan anymore. Something bad happen. Stupid belfs, probably. Stamp clan friend Kormok got trouble with belfs, Stamp hear. Stamp grumpy. Stamp like way Stamp clan friend Kormok lead. And Stamp worry, a little, that Kormok not in lead take some heart from Stamp clan. Stamp know a leader not all there is to clan, and Stamp know clan still got Elder Ruarc, but Stamp think Stamp clan friend Kormok mean a lot more than just thumpy-shooty orc who make stuff happen for clan.
Stamp wish Stamp knew more about what going on with Stamp clan friend Kormok. Stamp been so tied up chasing stupid cackly-burny not-deader warlock Rote that Stamp not really been much into Stamp clan politics. Stamp know it not easy to lead. Stamp know it not fun. Stamp know it make tired. Maybe Stamp clan need this, though. Maybe Stamp clan need kick and kick and kick in pants so others step up to do job Stamp clan friend Kormok been doing for so long.
Stamp think Stamp maybe ought to say something. Stamp think Stamp maybe ought to *do* something. Stamp not sure. Stamp want very much to find stupid cackly-burny not-deader warlock and not-Stamp felguard. Stamp want vengeance for Ulaumao. But Stamp clan maybe need Stamp more than Stamp need vengeance right now. Stamp not around enough when Stamp old clan fell apart. Stamp not want that to happen to Stamp clan. So, Stamp think Stamp gotta let stupid cackly-burny not-deader warlock and not-Stamp felguard go for now. Stamp clan need Stamp. Stamp go. Stamp help!
No. 3 (Metal Shaping)
Stamp ride More Stamp through ruddy-dusty streets of grumpy-thumpy orcie town of Orgrimmar.
Stamp got empty gold sacks. Stamp got a few of 'em. Stamp learning more hit and hits. Stamp find that not cheap. Stamp clan friends send Stamp stuff to make hit and hits. Stamp appreciate that. Stamp not always find stuff Stamp need in yelly-haggly auction house, or Stamp find stuff but stuff Stamp want so crazy price that Stamp want to hit and hit and hit and hit stupid stuff-sellers.
Stamp get to make-hit-and-hit anvil place. Stamp climb down from More Stamp. More Stamp munch on carrots Stamp take from basket. More Stamp drink water from trough. Stamp leave More Stamp to make hit and hits.
While Stamp work, Stamp think. Stamp think and think and think. Stamp know for sure Stamp clan friend thumpy-shooty orc Kormok not lead clan now. Stamp hear Kormok not like stupid flop-ear belfs. Stamp guess Stamp just used to stupid purple nelfs from long time back, but Stamp not mind stupid flop-ear belfs so much. Still, Stamp not always been in touch with stupid clan drama stuff. Stupid clan drama stuff make anybody grumpy, whether it come from stupid flop-ear belfs or stompy-roary Tauren.
Clang! Stamp hit glowy metal on anvil. CLANG! Stamp hit glowy metal on anvil some more. CLANG! CLANG! Stamp hit glowy metal on anvil even more. Stamp still not quite sure what Stamp clan gotta do to get back to happy and away from grumpy. Stamp not like Stamp clan grumpiness. Stamp okay with Stamp grumpiness. Stamp get over grumpiness sometime. Stamp clan grumpiness, though...that not always get better.
Stamp not hate stupid flop-ear belfs. Stamp not hate much except squeaky-wobbly gnomes and those Zangamarsh beans and cream carrots and shrieky-slashy bird people and fel reavers and stupid spitty-bubbly pallies and cackly-burny not-deader warlocks that hurt or kill Stamp friends.
Stamp just try to be Stamp. Stamp try to like others. Stamp try to accept others. Stamp figure just because not-Stamp not reason not to like. Stamp okay with not-Stamp people. Stamp learn new things from not-Stamp people. Stamp like to know new things. New things make Stamp more smart and more wise. Stamp like more smart and more wise Stamp.
Maybe Stamp clan friend Kormok just need break from whatever make Stamp clan friend Kormok grumpy. Stamp sometimes take breaks. Breaks good. Breaks keep Stamp sane. Stamp like sane. Stamp figure Stamp clan friend Kormok go through what Stamp clan friend Kormok gotta go through and then see what Stamp clan friend Kormok shape like when Stamp clan friend Kormok finish turning into whatever Stamp clan friend Kormok become.
Stamp clan gonna be there for Stamp clan friend Kormok when Stamp clan friend Kormok ready, Stamp figure.
Stamp wait. Stamp see.
No. 4 (Catch of the Day)
Shrieky-clawy birdguy thingie slash and slash at Stamp. Stamp hit and hit and hit and hit shrieky-clawy birdguy thingie. Shrieky-clawy birdguy thingie fall into splishy-splashy pond.
Stamp look around shrieky-clawy birdguy thingie village Skettis. Stamp see lots of dead shrieky-clawy birdguy thingies. Stamp hit and hit and hit and hit a bunch of them. Stamp chuckle. Stamp not be bothered now! Stamp nudge dead shrieky-clawy birdguy thingie aside and then Stamp take out Stamp fishing pole. Stamp cast line into splishy-splashy pond. Stamp wait and wait and wait and wait. Stamp drink a little bit. Stamp eat a little bit. Stamp wait and wait and wait. Stamp line snag something. Stamp pull line from splishy-splashy pond. Stamp check end of line. Stamp catch...
...Stamp catch leg that's attached to another dead shrieky-clawy birdguy thingie.
Stamp cringe. Stamp think shrieky-clawy birdguy thingie village Skettis pond not very good place to fish.
No. 5 (Starstuff)
Stamp sleep. Stamp got really strange dream.
Stamp dream Stamp in rainy-cloudy place called ... Inkland? Stamp see stupid shoppy-thinky human boy throw rock at stupid shallow-flirty human girl window. Stamp see stupid shoppy-thinky human boy tell stupid shallow-flirty human girl that stupid shoppy-thinky human boy gonna cross some stupid crumbly-stretchy wall to find stupid shiny-burny star for stupid shallow-flirty human girl. Stamp see stupid shoppy-thinky human boy find stupid shiny-burny star. Stamp see stupid cackly-burny witch sisters and stupid jealous-deadly brothers want stupid shiny-burny star. Stamp see stupid shoppy-thinky boy and stupid shiny-burny star find stupid zappy-sizzly lightning catcher gasbag with stupid arrrrry-growly pirate crew. Stamp see stupid shoppy-thinky boy be hero. Stamp see stupid shoppy-thinky boy be smart.
Stamp think this dream get two hoofstomps, a flankscratch and a tailswish.
Stamp not grumpy.
No. 6 (In the Jungle)
Stamp fly Growlflap into greeny-leafy mountain clearing in Nagrand. Stamp followed by two growly-thumpy pink orcies on flappy-growly windriders. Stamp reach into pack and take out yellow clefthoof skin map. Stamp look at map. Stamp look and look and look. Stamp look around Stamp. Stamp look over at growly-thumpy pink orcies as growly-thumpy pink orcies get off of flappy-growly windriders.
"We close, Tauren?" growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor ask Stamp.
"Stamp think so," Stamp say, looking at squigglies and swirlies and slashies and dotties on map. "Stamp walk from here." Stamp tug on brim of Stamp floppy brown hat. Stamp walk north a little ways. Growly-thumpy pink orcies follow Stamp. Stamp and growly-thumpy pink orcies come to edge of jungle with big orcie head cave mouth. Big stone orcie head look like shouty-angry orcie with tongue carved into steps.
"It's real, then," growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak say, pointing at cave. "The Temple of Ok'm'gok!"
Stamp bob Stamp snout. Then Stamp look at ground. Stamp kneel and pick up dart from ground. Stamp look around Stamp again. Stamp drop dart and walk up orcie tongue into cave.
Growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor grab dart, wipe bit of wet stuff from dart tip, then taste finger. "Lost Ones are close," growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor say before follow Stamp. "The poison is fresh. Three days."
"If the Lost Ones knew we were here, we'd be dead already," grump growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak.
"I don't like it," growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor grumble.
"Don't be such a coward," snap growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak. "Do what you came here to do."
Growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor grunt, but nod. Growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor draw dagger from sheath. Growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor get ready to throw dagger at Stamp back. Stamp wonder what took growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor so long. Stamp whip out Stamp boomerang. FWIP-FWIP-FWIP-FWIP-SMACK! Stamp boomerang hit growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor dagger hand. Dagger thump on ground. Growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor look scared and run off into jungle. Stamp catch Stamp boomerang. Stamp look over at growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak.
Growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak sigh. "Amateurs." Growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak take out sword. Growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak twirl and twirl and twirl and twirl sword. Growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak grin at Stamp.
Stamp growl. Stamp grumpy. Stamp roll Stamp eyes. Stamp throw Stamp boomerang again. FWIP-FWIP-FWIP-FWIP-SMACK! Stamp boomerang hit growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak forehead. Growly-thumpy pink orcie Melnak go down like sack full of talbuk hooves. Stamp shrug. Stamp turn and thump into shadowy tunnel.
Stamp got something to find.
No. 7 (In the Temple)
Stamp stomp down tunnel. Stamp grab flickery-burny torch off wall thingy. Stamp not sure who keep flickery-burny torch burning all the time. Stamp just know that whoever keep flickery-burny torch burning all the time not bother to dust or clean cobwebs or sweep or get rid of...
...spiders! Big spiders! Little spiders! Medium spiders! Creepy-crawly spiders! Stamp hate spiders! Stamp hate and hate and hate spiders. Stamp hate and hate and hate spiders almost as much as Stamp hate and hate and hate and hate stupid squeaky-wobbly gnomes!
Stamp stomp and stomp and stomp on spiders. Stamp poke spiders with flickery-burny torch. Stamp take out Stamp hit-and-hit and then Stamp hit and hit and hit and hit spiders.
Then Stamp get to next tunnel. Stamp see shiny-glowy light from hole in roof. Stamp put Stamp hand in light. CLANG! Spiky-jabby thingy come out of wall with dead shrieky-shouty gobble body stuck on it.
"Forzey Tull," Stamp mutter. Shrieky-shouty gobble treasure hunter tell Stamp last week that shrieky-shouty gobble treasure hunter gonna find the Idol of Ok'm'gok before Stamp. Well, Stamp guess Forzey Tull got to temple first, but Forzey Tull never gonna touch the idol.
Stamp stomp down tunnel some more. Stamp get to pit in floor. Stamp look down pit. Pit just go and go and go. Stamp see big red button built into stone on other side of pit. Stamp take out Stamp boomerang. Stamp throw! FWIP-FWIP-FWIP-SMACK! Stamp boomerang hit button. Fake floor thingy block pit! Stamp stomp across. Stamp stomp into big open temple room. Stamp see steps go down to floor. Stamp see carvings on walls on two sides of room. Stamp see altar at far end of room with shiny gold growly-thumpy orc head Idol of Ok'm'gok.
Stamp notice some carvings on walls got holes in them. Stamp not like the look of those, so Stamp kneel next to floor and Stamp press bottom of torch on stone tile. THWAK! Poison dart smack into Stamp torch. Stamp figure dart hole thingies only got one shot. Crazy temple builders only ever build for one shot, Stamp know this. So Stamp grab rocks and pebbles and sticks and Stamp throw and throw at stone tiles until all darts fire. When Stamp finish, Stamp kneel and put torch on tile again. Stamp not see anymore darts come. So, Stamp got that taken care of. Now Stamp stomp across temple floor with zippy-stingy darts.
Stamp get to altar. Stamp look at shiny gold growly-thumpy orc head Idol of Ok'm'gok. Stamp figure after shrieky-shouty gobble Forzey Tull got stabbed and stabbed and stabbed by spiky-jabby trap and zippy-stingy dart thingies come out of walls, well, shiny gold growly-thumpy orc head Idol of Ok'm'gok gonna have a trap too. Stamp look at idol. Stamp look at Stamp hoof. Stamp guess Stamp hoof weigh about what idol weigh. So, Stamp grab idol and then Stamp swing Stamp hoof up to rest on idol thingy place. Idol thingy place sit just fine with Stamp hoof on it, but then Stamp realize Stamp not gonna be able to leave temple with idol as long as Stamp gotta keep Stamp hoof on idol thingy place.
Stamp stuck. Stamp bet bad things happen if Stamp take hoof off idol thingy place, but Stamp know Stamp not gonna get out of temple without Stamp taking hoof off idol thingy place. Stamp know that growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor still out there somewhere and might come back to hhit and hit and hit and hit Stamp and then take Idol of Ok'm'gok.
Stamp not got much choice. Stamp take hoof off idol thingy place. Idol thingy place sink into altar. Temple rumble and rumble and rumble. Thumpy-bangy rocks fall and fall and fall from ceiling. Stamp run! Stamp run across temple floor. Stamp run down hall. Stamp get to pit. Stamp look for button to hit for fake floor. Stamp not see button! Button gone! Stamp gotta jump! Stamp grumpy! Stamp go back toward temple. Stamp turn. Stamp run and run and run at pit. Stamp jump! Stamp just make it! Stamp run past dead shrieky-shouty gobble Forzey Tull.
Stamp hear more rumble. Stamp look behind Stamp and up. Stamp see big round stone roll and roll and roll. Stamp tuck Idol of Ok'm'gok under Stamp arm and then Stamp run and run and run from stone!
Stamp leap out of growly-thumpy orcie mouth and Stamp roll down tongue just before big round stone slam into entrance and block it forever. Then Stamp look up and Stamp see bunch of Lost Ones outside temple. Stamp see growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor with Lost Ones. Growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor fall forward. Growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor got lots of darts in growly-thumpy pink orcie Unnor's back.
Stamp see pasty white gnarled hand in front of Stamp face, palm up. "Stamp Bloodhoof," say cackly-burny not-deader warlock Rote. "Once again, we see there is nothing you can possess that I cannot take away." Not-deader warlock Rote got felguard with old Evil Overlord Stamp helmet. Felguard growl at Stamp in Stamp own voice: "Give him the idol, fool, or your life is forfeit."