A Message
(A large poster is posted up on the Classified Boards in Stormwind stained with rum and some blood. At the top of it is a logo of a drunk parrot laying on its back with an eyepatch, peg leg, pirate hat and bottle of rum under its wing.)
Hear ye! Hear ye! Scallywags of Stormwind...
Now hiring for the new up and coming bar in Stormwind, "The Pissed Parrot". The "Aged Saber" in the Stormwind Park will be purchased by Pirate Lord Phaerok Nightwind and his crew of The Dark Heart of Azeroth.
We shall be hosting weekly events aside from offering you hospitality and fine liquors.
All inquiries should be directed to Kyltania Dromedes.
Tavern Rules & Regulations:
Dancing on the bar is permitted only in a stylish manner or in scantily clad garments. If anyone dancing on the bar is deemed unstylish or incredibly ugly they will be shot by gun or deathcoil.
No pets are permitted in the bar except parrots and succubi as succubi (as they may be considered dates). Parrots may be used as an exceptable substitute for monkeys.
There will be no crying in the bar, except in the case of the loss of a shipload of rum.
All barfights will be directed to the basement. During a swordfight, swordfighting insults are required. In the event both participants are still alive at the end of the fight, the participant with the superior insults shall be declared the victor.
No one wearing "fanny packs" is allowed in the bar.
No one shall drink Grog out of a glass. Grog is only to be consumed either straight from the barrel, or from a mug heavy enough to to kill a man.
Anyone being rude to the bar keeper or bar maids shall be fired from the cannons.
No one shall ever raise his pinky when drinking any sort of beverage.
Under no circumstances is anyone to speak with a Ninja, unless he first decapitates that Ninja and uses his head like a sock puppet. Fighting down in the basement with ninjas is permitted only if the ninja loses.
When asking the bar staff questions, "ARRRRRRR!" is a perfectly acceptable reply. Other acceptable choices are "Avast!", and "Ahoy Matey!"
All bar maids are to be referred to as wenches, with the exception of female Pirates, who can be referred to as "lass". Male bar wenches may be referred to as "sissies".
Pirates do not clean up, except when gold falls out of a treasure chest.
Vampires, death knights, and bastard sons of Illidan or Arthas are not allowed in the bar... If so, do not openly proclaim this.
Spilling rum is not acceptable, except in the act of "pouring some out for dead mateys".
Any further rules shall be appended at the discrimination of the bar staff.
((~ Kyltania))
Specialty Drinks!
- Black Beard Buster: straight from Shadowforge City
- A Passionate Affair on the Beach: A most riveting and delightful twist of alcohol that hits the spot.
- Shadowfury: Curiously fruity!
Top Shelf
- Sligslosher, Black Label: The strongest tequila label known to Humankind, possibly in all of Azeroth. Possibly in all of the Great Dark Beyond.
Reviews
"I didn't get thrown out until I'd gotten drunk and covered Jorngen in vomit... front and back... shoes too, but my memory is a little hazy...Either way, this bar is made of win."
~ Daimler, Gnome Warlock