Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits. Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!==Story Time== The Forsaken in the people-suit was running around some stupid lake trying to find lost items for the incompetent humans littering its shores. Some kid lost a necklace, an idiot posing as an industrious human lost his tools and so on, ad infinitum. It was enough to make him sick, but, it paid well and his coins all had the stamp of the Forsaken or Thrall on them. Not easily distributed here in happy-land. Taking a well earned break from the mindless fetching for the idiots, Kopfjagger wandered over to the nearby graveyard for a respite. The squishing sound of water in the feet of his people-suit was disturbing to say the least. As he came around a shack near the cool grave markers, he was slightly alarmed to see a group of the pink and blue skins sitting around a small fire. Hmm, he thought to himself. At least he could sit by a warm fire to help get the water out of his suit. He plopped down next to a curvy woman and did his best to peek without it being obvious. Some dorf was yabbering on about some awesome weapon he found. Yabber, jabber and meander; droning on about this stupid knife. "Da blade of da weapon could cut right through all of Azeroth if it werent kept in its sheath!" The idiots actually expressed awe. He tried hard not to laugh. The statement was stupid enough to draw his attention off of the warm bodied curves next to him. "How then, half-man, does one sheath such a weapon if it can, as you suppose, cut through the world?" The translator smoked a little due to the water but the Forsaken just waved the smoke away. This was going to be interesting. The dwarf turned to look at his questioner. "Tis a special sheath, Twas designed specially fer da knife, friend." Kopfjagger nodded exaggeratedly. "Anywho, the midget continued, I comes across this blade and knowd I must have it." The dwarf droned on while the Forsaken looked around at the crowd. There were plenty of very attractive human and elfin women around. He happily wiggled his feet closer to the fire. "Do you have this knife with you now, Dorf?" Kopfjagger couldnt help but ask. Again the dwarf turned to his questioner. "Um, neh, I dunnot, friend. But Im gonna go back..." Kopfjagger nodded exaggeratedly again. The human woman next to him was squirming rather enticingly. Women were wonderful creatures and now that he unleashed himself from his baser emotions such as love and caring, he found them most wonderful. He didnt realize that her squirming was due to the smell of the steam coming from the feet of his people-suit. He had lost smell ages ago. Finally the Dwarf sat down, his tongue exhausted. His dissertation on the non-existent, fictional knife was now over. Next stood a purple elfin woman, long in leg, curvy and delicious looking. She let loose with a bawdy song that made the steam coming from the Forsakens feet seem like ice-fog. It was wonderful. If she would sing a song like that, what else would she do? If could have licked his eyebrows, he would have. There was laughter and applause at the purple treats song. Kopfjagger chimed right in and clapped along with the rest. He tried to do a cat call, but his fingers, overly thick from the suit, denied him. With a shrug he looked back around the circle. Happy, ignorant, borderline retarded members of the enemy sat around the fire. No more than fifteen feet away were the graves of their ancestors; cold and ignored. "Does anyone else have a story they would like to share?" Kopfjagger stood up. He was never one to be shy. "And who might you be, stranger?" Some random voice from one of the nameless asked him. "Just call me Bob." He turned away from his questioner. "I have a story that I will try to keep brief," he started. Let them know what their ignorance and docile nature resulted in. He wiped the sneer off of his face the best he could. "Not too long ago, there was a human man that awoke to find himself no longer a man. His flesh was rotted, his body was broken, yet he lived. Well, not really lived for he no longer had the need to breathe or eat or sleep or drink, but he walked, he thought and he had control over his own actions. He was less than a man now, but he had the memories of being human and all that entailed." There were a few gasps and one of the woman folk held a hanky up to her face. Grunting, the Forsaken in the people suit continued. "Lost and abandoned by his people, he found that their betrayal led him to an immortal life of un-living. It took this man many days to adjust to his new existence, but soon he found himself driven by a new calling. He was to reap the world and make it pay." "His first task was to exterminate the Scourge from his new homeland." Looking around the crowd he was pleased to see that he had their attention. Spitting on the ground at the mention of Scourge, the Forsaken continued. "He took to the task with a vengeance. Killing and laying waste to the Scourge, he became better at moving his stiff, dead muscles. It was during this that he noticed something familiar up on a hill by one of many abandoned buildings. The undead ran up the hill and spun the being around, expecting to find his long-lost wife that he buried a week before his own death." More gasps came from the pink and purple creatures around the fire. Kopfjagger adjusted his translator and continued on. "It was, indeed, his wife. But she was no longer aware of anything other than the desire to kill and consume. She was not aware of any other thing. Not even her husband come back from death to love her forever." He turned and lowered his head. He hated telling this part. "When she reached for him at first, he thought it was out of love. And then she bit at his hands. She groaned mindlessly at his neck as her teeth sank in." His feet made uncomfortable circles in the worn earth. "So this man killed her; his wife; mother of his children." Shock spread throughout the circle. They were used to happy, fruity tales of skipping and frolicking in woody places. Welcome to the rest of the world, he thought bitterly to himself. "The end," he stated flatly. He squished his way back to his spot next to the curvy woman and plopped back onto the ground. Spotty applause started up and faded quickly. Unthinking, Kopfjagger pulled out a tarnished golden ring and spun it around on his finger. [[Category:Stories]] [[Category:Kopfjagger]] Summary: Please note that all contributions to the Earthen Ring Wiki are considered to be released under the CC-BY-SA Cancel Editing help (opens in new window) Retrieved from "https://earthenring.fandom.com/wiki/Adventures_in_a_People-Suit"