Laughing Jester Current Events

Closed due to Investigation
Inside the Jester where there would be a bartender, instead is a large "CLOSED" sign. Red lettering on a black field glaring at those who would walk through the doors. It seems someone has taken great care to ensure the sign cannot be removed. A goblin engineered device with more red lights then would be necessary in the combined seedy districts of Stormwind, Booty Bay, and Ironforge chirps contentedly as it sweeps the muzzle of what can only be a projectile weapon across the area behind the bar.

A second sign has been bolted into the the bar top itself crisp white lettering catching the eye in the same way the usual unexpected bar dancer forces their unsightly visage on the patrons.


 * THE CONTENTS OF THE BAR HAVE BEEN POISONED


 * DRINKING OF ANYTHING WILL BE TREATED AS SUICIDE.


 * IF IT KILLS YOU IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT.


 * --  The Management.

Outside the bar in much smaller lettering the a smaller message has been posted below the pair of jovial theater masks that serve as the Laughing Jester's sign. It sits annoyingly at knee height for most of the taller races, but right at eye level for a gnome. It states the following:


 * In accordance with the Stormwind Guard's requests, the Jester will be closed until Tuesday. This is due to an ongoing investigation due to last nights poisonings.   The doors remain open due to the fact that there are no doors.  The drinks on display and in the stock room are not for your consumption.


 * That said, there is a single keg downstairs that has a functioning tap attached.  Anyone attempting to do anything other then fill a mug may experience one or more fo the following:   (Illustrations provided for those who can't read.)


 * Summarily shot by automated gnomish sentries,
 * ((a picture of a gnome with remote in one hand staring at a bullet hole in the other ))


 * Blown up by goblin explosive devices
 * ((a picture of a burned marking on the ground, two larger green ears sitting to either side))


 * Eaten by various creatures of shadow we've been told live there but can't seem to find.
 * ((A picture of looking down a dark stairwell with a word bubble stating "nom nom nom." at the bottom))


 * Mugged by visitors from old town who have nothing better to do.
 * ((A caricature of Billy Stag waving to the reader, word bubble caption stating "Hi, I'm Billy, I'll be your assailant tonight."))


 * Trip on the stares break your neck and die in an ensuing beer fire.
 * ((An image of the previous stairwell, but better lit, a caricature of Calithos sprawled on the bottom, upside down against the wall.   Parts of Asherrean can be seen crushed between Calithos and the stonework))


 * We may have also missed a feral nightsaber or two down there, so drink at your own risk.


 * We apologize for the inconvenience.


 * Boudreaux Sauvage
 * The Laughing Jester
 * Accountant and Dwarvish Relations.