Adventures in Gnome Sitting

Adventures in Gnome Sitting
 * - by Borri

Have faith in the Light.

Through all my Priestly training they kept telling me to have faith in the light. It will guide you, protect you, see you through, if only you will have faith.

So here I was, putting my entire faith in the light. Still, I dont think drawing to an inside straight was what my instructors in the clergy had in mind, but what the heck. "I'll take one" I said to the dealer, then without looking at the card I bet the last of my gold.

My light given faith must have been convincing, because the two players to my left both folded. The gnome, on the other hand, wasnt buying it. He smiled at me, met my bet and pushed a huge pile of additional gold coins into the pot. My faith faltered, but only for a moment.

"Seems you are a bit low on cash friend" he said smiling again. "If you are as sure of your hand as you seem to be, perhaps we can reach an agreement to allow you to call my raise."

"An agreement" I said eagerly "what sort of agreement."

He smiled that smile at me again, and said "Oh something simple. We will consider my raise called, and of course if you win you get all the money. If, on the other hand, you are bluffing, and I win, I win your services as a valet for five years."

"Five years" I blanched, my faith faltering slightly again "Thats a pretty long time."

"Well thats an awful lot of money I just bet, so as I see it, its a fair trade. Take it or leave it, I dont really care which you choose, just choose quickly." he said, then looked directly into my eyes.

I looked from him to the large man standing behind him. "What do you need me for, you have a man servant already?"

He laughed "Actually, I wish to find a valet for my son, he is about to go out into the world, and I want him properly seen after." He flashed his smile at me again "You see, I am Pariwinkle Cogsworth Rocketfellows the Second, and I will not have a member of the Roctetfellows clan going into the world without a proper servant."

I nodded at the Gnome, and pretended that his dropping his name impressed me, though in reality I had never heard of the Rocketfellows. I eyed the pile of gold, rebolstered my faith in the light, and accepted his offer.

He revealed that he had two pair ace high, then looked to me with that I win smile of his. I slowly lay down my hand, first the 3 and 4, then the 6 and 7. Finally I reached over an flipped the down card over. An ace. I stared at it in disbelief. The Gnome chuckled.

And so, that very day I began my new life as the indentured man servant to Pariwinkle Cogsworth Rocketfellers the Third. I hope I'm better at that than I am at cards.

Does old money have wrinkles??

Seems everyone wants to be able to look down on someone. Nobles look down on commoners, the rich look down on the poor. But even that isnt enough. Nobles look down on eachother. Princes look down on Dukes, who look down on barons, who look down on Counts. You find the same sort of situation amoung the filthy rich.

The measure used in the ranks of the filthy rich is how old your money is. If you have been rich for a very long time you are called Old Money. Those who have just come into wealth are called New Money. The newer your money is, the more old money looks down on you.

Now the Rocketfellers are definately old money. They pretty much look down on everyone. Pariwinkle Cogsworth Rocketfellers III is fond of quoting the original Pariwinkle Cogsworth Rocketfellers, who loved to say "Rocketfellers were Old Money before money was even invented." It is rumored their money is so old it collects Social Security.

Being associated (through indentured servitude) with all this old money does have its advantages. I get to go to posh parties and watch while Pariwinkle eats the best food and drinks the best wine. I get to go to the concerts of famous composers and stand in the cloak room holding Pariwinkles cape. I get to see the latest in clothing fashion as I fold it and put it in Master Pariwinkles trunks.

There is one advantage I do not scoff at though. Apparently being the servant of old money comes with its own status. Servants of new money are looked down upon and laughed at by servants of old money. After a posh party we servants of old money get first dibs on the things the rich wouldnt eat. At concerts, we servants of old money get to stand nearest the door of the cloak closet, where there is a bit of air and you can almost hear the concert. And no matter what sorts of rags you might be wearing, if they were bought by old money, then by the Light they are better than anything worn by a servant of new money.

Since the Rocketfellers are about as old money as money gets, I am a veritable king among indentured servants. Sure it isnt much to brag about, but when you are facing a life of servitude, its good to be king.