Musings of an Azeroth Mage

Musings of an Azeroth Mage
 * - ''by Archin



2/23/06
(This entry will begin a group of story flashbacks of Archin's earlier years. I hope it's interesting and not too rambling!)

Ive been taking the time to reflect.

Reflect on my life, who I am, and what kind of a person I should be.

Ahh I remember in my youth how different of a man I was! How very much different than I am today. Was the change for the best? Is the Archin Brey of today superior to who I was in my youth?

But shall I start from the beginning? What started me thinking along these lines? Sure, I am a historian and as such Im used to looking back into the past to learn for the future. But I rarely, if ever, really think hard about who I was after all whatever I am at whatever given time it is certainly the best type of person I can be

right?

Last evening, I decided to head into the Jester and decided to make a concerted effort to be overtly happy. Why not? After all, I am married to the fairest creature in Azeroth, I have a beautiful son, a wonderful profession. I am financially stable, more so than stable! I have friends, an intriguing life, and I believe I am respected by those whose respect is important.

So many people seemed surprised at my positive attitude. I do admit, that sometimes I get mired down in serious matters and because of such a mindset, I think very seriously towards many aspects of life. But I can be fun! I can be joyful!

A few incidents occurred that evening, however, that flung me out of my good mood and right into a very foul one. These incidents, which Id rather speak of in detail later, certainly warranted a serious response from someone as dignified as I!

I admit, rarely do I care about the opinions of others. Particularly the opinions of others about myself! Why should I? So many people are jealous of me! They resent me because Im a straight shooter (to use one of those slang Booty Bay terms) and I tell folks my mind. I cannot help it if Im superior to most people!

Nevertheless, I do care about the opinions of some towards me.

I remember when I was the leader of my Guild. I knew I wasnt going to be the best leader and I relied on my officers to help me for my shortcomings so to speak. I was not as diplomatic as others. I had a shorter temper than most. But my heart, my heart is true and just! It is!

Yet I would agonize, so often, because many members were afraid of me. Or they did not like me because I seemed grouchy all the time. Though I admit, most of the time I was grouchy because I was fending off jackals from courting my ex-wife. Yet I tried so hard to be friendly and gentlemanly to my friends.

Though many opinions meant little to me. Their opinions of me meant very much. I suppose even I need to have friends. Even I need to have those that will respect me, and look on me and smile, not scowl.

I even recall some members of my guild telling me how refreshing it was to see me in a good mood. How entertaining I could be! How much of a gentleman I could be!

So, I sought to be just that man last evening.

By the end of the evening, after tipping the workers of the Jester favorably and generally being a gentleman, I took a walk outside and was assaulted by a gnome. The little gnome leapt at me, telling me to prepare to die, and bounced off my chest like a fool.

I was flung into a rage. Who wouldnt be?!

After throwing the little gnome to the grass, I bore down on her and lady Peejee and Delesta quickly appeared at either side of me. While Peejee went to the gnome and started to talk to her, Delesta began to berate me for being mean to the gnome! Lest she forget, this gnome had threatened my life and tried to kill me!

I berated the gnome over Peejees shoulder, and Delesta grabbed me by my collar and dragged me off to somewhere private. At which time, the Night Elf had the audacity to say I was being a jerk of sorts, and that I should learn to be a bit nicer to people. After she browbeat me about my conduct, I reserved myself to remain quiet and stomped back to Peejee and my assailant.

I had returned just to hear Peejee say that I was an ungrateful, silly man and that I was always grouchy and angry.

I have to admit that hit a chord.

I had shown Peejee and, to an extent, Delesta as a whole absolute courtesy. Why, after sparring with Delesta once and swearing she was a fool, I even pardoned her after hearing she was a friend of Peejee.

Yet, for whatever reason, hearing Peejee say that about me struck me. It stunned me, actually. I suppose I see the likes of Peejee, Delesta, and several others as my newfound friends. But do they have such an opinion of me? Do they simply see me as a grumpy old man?

I thought long and hard at this am I a man different from what I was in my youth? I remember being young, enjoying the warmth of the sun against my face.. having long hair! Long hair!!

Thinking on this I cannot help but think back to those times. Those carefree times when I was just a lad in a world full of opportunities