Fizzlepocket

Basic Stats

 * Full Name: Fizzlepocket James Rodriguez Fernando Martinez Ricardo Tweek the II.
 * In-Game: Fizzlepocket
 * Nicknames: Fizz, Fizzle, Tweek, Mr. F.J.R.F.M.R.T.2, SIR Fizzlepocket.
 * Title: Master of Disguise and Billionaire Playboy
 * Race: Gnome
 * Class: Rogue
 * Professions: Master Goblin Engineer, Renowned Animatronics and Demolitions Expert, Public Enemy #18.

Appearance

 * Age: 80 (Approximately 25-30 in human years.)
 * Sex: Male
 * Hair: Originally, Black, then Green, and now Brown.
 * Eyes: Pale Blue/Grey
 * Skin Tone: Lightly tanned.
 * Weight: 65 lb.
 * Height: 3'8"

From Childhood
''It may be overdone in such a world to have one who loses his own parents to war, famine, disease, murderers, thieves, assassins, feral animals, alien beings, and of course the occasional freak lawn care mishap involving hedge trimmers, lawn mowers, woodchippers and/or rakes. I assure you though, this gnome’s tale is only SLIGHTLY different than that and as a result, is much much more interesting, partly because it stars gnomes and as everyone should know by now, “Teh Nomez rulz #1!”

''This gnome, this brilliant example of the ideal gnomish physique and grooming had as much of a troubled family life as he did at school. His mother was of course the well sought after Mileena Sparkvalve. Yes, the very same Sparkvalves who revolutionized the Frozen Dinner market with their “Famished Gnome” mass produced frozen dinners made with enough love to choke a goat. She was the sole heir to the entire fortune, her net worth shooting into the billions. Needless to say, she was a very hot property. Suitors from all over Gnomeregan came to try to swoon her and in effect marry their way into pure unfiltered wealth, and this gnome’s father, James Tweek (A lesser known but still moderately respected gnome for havin’ bagged one of the hottest ‘n richest gnomes in the City), won this “Matrimony Lottery.” The two had a beautiful wedding and they lived together for over 20 years in bliss ‘n such, had three children, and all was fine in the Tweek minus my poor grades and Crankwidget’s blatant kleptomania.

''I was only 15 and just starting my engineering education when my first father was killed in an accident involving a wood chipper. What exactly a wood chipper is doing in a subterranean city I don’t know, but what I do know was that there was only one other gnome, a dear friend to my mother, who witnessed the tragic and horrific death. His name was Roddy Pistonpuff, and with my mother in such an emotional state, agreed to marry him all of four hours after she got word of this mishap. ''They were married soon after, and this time, Roddy didn’t even make it two weeks pass the honeymoon when he was also killed, this time from accidentally ingesting what looked and smelled like, to the general consensus of both the detectives on the case and passerby to be lemonade. In reality, he guzzled down what was an extremely potent and experimental acid developed to help remove oil stains from driveways (But it was to a point where it’d also take out a chunk of the driveway with only a single drop). It doesn't really need to be said, but I'll say it anyway. What a way to go! ''So, once again my mother was free game to all of the bachelors in town, and it came to be little surprise from the neighborhood to hear that she was engaged to a Fanny Ratchet only a week later. I didn’t care much for the guy himself and with a name like “Fanny Ratchet,” I could only imagine the horrid jeering that he had to endure throughout his childhood. Fortunately, someone put him out of his misery quite quickly, a gnome who goes by the name of Marty “The uber leet” Leadbottom. One day Fanny got into a dispute with Marty about the superiority of unleaded vs. diesel gasoline for getting maximum performance out of an average consumer Mechanostrider and challenged Marty to a drag race down Dead Man’s Hill. Well, I’m sure we all know what happened. ''Poor guy slipped in the shower an hour prior to the race. ''So, Marty scores my mother on the rebound. All’s good for a few months. Maybe this one’ll stand the test of time, right? ''Naaaah. ''He was into the “Extreme” lifestyle. Always pulling off outrageous stunts in a vague attempt to be the world’s first at doing whatever. Couldn’t stand the guy myself. During one of these extreme stunts the idiot donned a pair of stolen Goblin Rocket Boots, a sapper charge, and a Goblin Rocket Helmet. I kid you not, he planned to fly around Gnomeregan twice in a show of both the brilliance in Goblin Engineering and in how ‘effin’ cool he was. So, the big day comes, he’s ready to go, the crowd is anxious but he casts a reassuring smile and flips the button on the Goblin Rocket Boots... BOOM! ''Blows up right on the launch pad. The most they found of the guy was a pinky, a chunk of an eye and his wedding ring. My mother, overwhelmed with having lost five husbands in only a three and a half year time span to tragic deaths was understandably consumed with guilt and mourning that she eventually swore off men entirely... until that evening when she met Ricky Spanner. I’m just going to cut to the chase here. He died when a railing that my first father, James, had installed on the fifth floor balcony gave out on Ricky after what sounded like a vigorous love making session. ''It’s kind of anti-climatic when you think about it, especially considering the one before him BLEW HIMSELF UP. But I don’t hold it against the guy since Marty's always been a tough act to follow. But then again, Ricky also had loud and raunchy sex with my mother at all hours of the night which would wake the neighbors in a one block radius of my home... ''Yeah, I won’t miss him. ''All in all, four years passed from James’ death all the way to Ricky’s.

The Incident
''I took advantage of all of these deaths, often blaming them for my lacking performance in my engineering education, but the truth was, I couldn’t really stand all the math and the thought process and all the TIME (Not to mention those oh so pesky “Physics” that kept getting in my way) it took to develop a suitable example of what Gnomish Engineering is about. ''I wanted something that was... more instantaneous. Something that didn’t take months of research and development to come up with, and something that was a wee bit more fun than anything that the gnomish engineers could come up with, with their desire to be all “Practical” and all that nonsense. Marty really was the first time I was exposed to Goblin Engineering and despite getting hit right in the forehead by a chunk of his eye, I was positively entranced by the hardware he was sporting. There was no rationale, no logic, no reasoning at all behind it! It just seemed more... There’s not a single word I can use to describe the sheer brilliance behind it! To my eyes, Gnomish Engineering limits itself to just trying to manipulate the entire world just to show that they can. Goblin Engineering meanwhile is less about the numbers or the research and development, rather just often thinking of what you wish you could do, make a device that in theory COULD work and then slap a rocket on it, print some waivers, and find a guinea pig to test it for you. If it works, great! If it doesn’t... well, let’s hope that the guy’s family doesn’t sue. ''I managed to graduate 35th in my class. Well, technically, I was 58th until a certain fateful Science Expo incident conveniently killed about 40 of my peers, 23 of which completely outranked me in scores, the others I just didn’t like, but that doesn’t really matter now does it? Well, according to the Gnome Courts, it did. Although they were incredibly impressed that I could do so much damage with a single pipe-bomb, they didn’t exactly want such a liability on hand, so I was... in their words "Strongly encouraged to get the Hell out."''

Fizzle's Education in Goblin Engineering
''From there, I just... kinda hung low for a few years. I adopted the full name Fizzlepocket James Rodriguez Fernando Martinez Ricardo Tweek the II mostly to deter employers from doing a background check whenever I applied for a job and because, hey, women think it sounds prestigious and sexy giving me further incentive to hang onto it. ''One day when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself (I was nearing my 40s around then, if I recall), I met Noxxie Bracketspring at a bar and he took a liking to me. I offered him some money to take me in as his apprentice, he tried to haggle with me to get even more money out of me, he was like the fathers that kept killing themselves off, only I had to pay him 150 gold a credit hour. ''From there, The next 30 years was a blur to me. I traveled in their circles, lived with them in their cities, drank with them as friends, dined with their families, slept with their women; it’s all good, really. I enjoyed their company and... I suppose I adopted a few of their mannerisms which makes me relatively unpopular and unsophisticated in comparison to my gnomish colleagues. I missed out on the second war and for that matter, I wasn’t there when Gnomeregan fell, but in all honesty I don’t have any more feelings attached to the place.

Stormwind and the Crimson Hounds Brigade
''I’m sure you’re all wondering “How does it all tie into your eventual arrival in Stormwind?” Mostly for three things. One, because I was sick of Goblin women whose idea of sexual intercourse is to lie there on their back and do their taxes while I try to do my thing. Do you know how much of a mood killer it is to be going, going, you’re almost there... “Hey Doll, do you think that trip to Darkshire could qualify as a deductible?” Two, because Goblin beer, despite all claims otherwise just sucks, and three, there wasn’t much else that the Goblins had to show me (Not to mention that Noxxie was hinting at raising the tuition fees another 100 gold to cover some sort of bull$!@% charge).

''It wasn't long until I joined the Hounds though I quickly learned to regret such a decision. Dangerous work, little to no pay, havin' to report to superiors, lousy food. The only reason I even STAYED in the Hounds was just for furthering my own knowledge of Goblin Engineering thanks to their outrageously high research budget. That, and I suppose the uniform was snazzy too but that's besides the point. Despite my loathing for all things Lt. Dugald, I quickly soared through the ranks, eventually becoming a Commanding Officer and being one of the few suppliers of explosive and mechanical devices (Some of which the Hounds use to this very day). Didn't take long though before I started feeling restless again and I resigned from the Hounds. Soon after leaving the Hounds, I joined G E A R which, didn't last all that long, a few months at most before resigning from THAT, and now I spend my days just being a general nuisance in Stormwind and bein' with my sweetheart, Glimmerflint.

''There is that entire "BANISHMENT FROM STORMWIND" thing right now, but I don't think it's really worth talkin' about anyway...

Personality
Fizzlepocket is the textbook definition of Chaotic Neutral.